I read all of these love quotes and all of these beautiful writings about love and relationships and what real love is... And I know, without any doubt, that he just never really loved me. Not like I loved him.
There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing to be done. You can't make someone feel something they don't. It's not his fault that he didn't feel it... There have been lots of guys who said that they loved me in my life whose feelings I just didn't return. It happens.
I am hurt and embarrassed. I am humiliated for being that person who was so stupidly in love that they couldn't see that the other person didn't feel the same. That stupid girl who wasted years of her life on some guy that never wanted her. I never, ever thought I would be that girl.
That is where my feelings come from. That is where all the hurt and sadness and tears are coming from...
But the anger... Besides the hypocritical and judgmental way he acted, there is really only one thing I can really, truly be angry at him for:
He lied. He spent years lying to me. Telling me he loved and and wanted me and letting me believe that we were in a committed relationship. He let me think about forever when he was only thinking about next week. He knew I was wasting my time, and he let me. He was too lonely, or chicken, or selfish or something to just tell me the truth and let me go. I gave him something he needed- whatever that was- and he didn't want to let that go, even though he didn't want all of me.
He wasted my time. My precious and fleeting time. And today, I am angry about it.
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