I decided that for the next year, I am dating myself. I am engaged to myself. Married to my quest to find out as much about myself as I can and become the me that I really want to be. Nuns wear wedding bands to show their commitment to God. I decided to wear a ring on my left hand for the same reason. (Also, there is always the added benifit that it will deter men who don't know me from asking me out. :)
So, I bought a ring. A diamond and sapphire band to wear on my left hand. I got the idea when I saw a ring at Costco and loved it immediately. I went back there after I decided to get it, but they didn't have my size. I spent a whole day at the mall, going from store to store, looking at jewelry. I actually had an idea of one ring in my mind- the one I saw at Costco- but then I saw this ring (the one in the picture with the marble) in the costume jewelry section at Belks. I tried it on and I really liked the way it looked. I liked the channel set stones. It was only 8 bucks, and it is CZ, but I got it anyway, just for fun and to see how I felt wearing a ring on that hand. I wore it for a day, and then ordered my real ring the next day.
When I see it on my hand, it reminds me:
- to be and act like the person I am committed to being.
- that I am OK by myself and I don't need to belong to someone else to be of worth.
- that God renews all things, even me, and I am not defined by my past mistakes.
- that my commitment is to God, and not to man, and if I would be proud for God to see me the way I am or a way I am behaving, then it is good enough, and it doesn't matter what people think of it.
I also keep thinking of the song lyric, "If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it..."
He didn't like it. He didn't want it. But I do. I like me. I really do. I always have. There are parts I would like to improve, but all in all, I have always liked the way I am. If he doesn't, that is his own problem. I don't need someone else to "put a ring on it". I did it myself.
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