I tried to leave the service early. They started all those happy Christmas songs, and I couldn't help but think that I'm going to be all alone- completely alone- from Christmas day until the middle of January. The tears started rolling down my face and I couldn't stop them...
I tried to leave, but I ran into W. I never did find out what happened to him last night, so we sat down in a room and he told me about it. A friend was threatening suicide. He jumped in his car and drove 2 hours to their house. He cried while he said that he didn't understand why they called HIM. He didn't know what he was supposed to say. He was scared and sad and has obviously never felt suicidal, because he just couldn't understand the feeling of wanting to end it all... He cried and he talked, and when I finally left, my heart was heavy for myself and for him. I walked to the car, praying in my head, "God, please give me peace. Give W peace. PLEASE just take away this pain. PLEASE just let me move on and do the things I am supposed to do. Please..."
I turned on the car, and this song came on the radio...
Well, everybody's got a story to tell
And everybody's got a wound to be healed
I want to believe there's beauty here
So, I guess you're tired of holding on
I can't let go, I can't move on
I want to believe there's meaning here
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
Standing on a road I didn't plan
Wondering how I got to where I am
I'm trying to hear that still small voice
I'm trying to hear above the noise
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
Though I walk,
Though I walk through the shadows
And I, I am so afraid
Please stay, please stay right beside me
With every single step I take
How many times have you heard me cry out?
And how many times have you given me strength?
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
I need you now
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
I need you now
I need you now
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