Carry Me

This morning I woke up before my alarm- I didn't know what time it was. I just knew that there was a song stuck loudly in my head. It was "Good To Be Alive"... I didn't know that- All I heard was the sentence, "I wanna live like there's no tomorrow... Love like I'm on borrowed time..." over and over again. I rolled over and found my phone, checked the time, and blurrily typed those words into the notepad... I thought to myself that I had another two whole hours to sleep if I wanted, and was quite pleased. I went back to sleep.

When I woke up again, I had a different song. It was "Carry Me" by Josh Wilson.  I had heard him say on the radio that he wrote this song while battling severe anxiety... I thought it was pretty cool and quite brave that he would admit that to the whole world. When I tell people I have issues with anxiety or that I am considering taking meds for it, they look at me like they need to hide their children from me...  How many times have I wished that I had a broken leg, or lost a limb, or had some disease that ravages my appearance- so that people would believe that there was actually something wrong with me... If an illness has to do with your emotions or your mind, then it's weird and unnatural.... So I was very proud of this guy for saying all of this out loud on the radio.

And just like in the rooms- I had this feeling that someone else understood. That I wasn't crazy or defective or unworthy because of what I suffered from. This guy is famous and loved by millions, and he battles the same demon I do... So, while it isn't my favorite song musically or lyrically, really- I am always moved when I hear it come on the radio.

And, although I don't know why yet, this is one of the songs that was given to me this morning.

Carry Me

Josh Wilson

I try to catch my breath
It hasn't happened yet
I'm wide awake in the middle of the night scared to death
So I prayed God, would You make this stop
Father please hold on to me, You're all I've got

Carry me, carry me, carry me now
From my sinking sand to Your solid ground
The only way I'm ever gonna make it out
Is if You carry me, carry me, carry me now
God carry me, carry me, carry me now

Jesus calm my heart
Come near me please
Lord don't let these worries get the best of me
Oh I believe, that You're still here with me
Cause You meant what You said when You said You'd never leave

Carry me, carry me, carry me now
From my sinking sand to Your solid ground
The only way I'm ever gonna make it out
Is if You carry me, carry me, carry me now
God carry me, carry me, carry me now

Carry me
God carry me
Carry me
God carry me

I'm at the end of myself
I know I've got nothing left
Feels like I'm stuck in the valley of the shadow of death
And I've been down here so long
I just can't find my way out
Oh God I don't stand a chance
Unless You carry me now
God carry me now

Carry me, carry me, carry me now
From my sinking sand to Your solid ground
The only way I'm ever gonna make it out
Is if You carry me, carry me, carry me now
God carry me, carry me, carry me now

Carry me now
Carry me now
Carry me now
Carry me now